Skip to main content

On Trans Day of Remembrance, My Grief is My Power


Twenty minutes from where I grew up, in Owasso, Oklahoma, Nex Benedict was relentlessly bullied for being trans. This bigoted aggression continued for more than a year and, last March, Nex died after being physically beaten in a school bathroom.

Nex is far from alone. According to a recent study by the Centers for Disease Control & Prevention one in four transgender youth missed school because they knew they were unsafe. A Department of Education (ED) investigation found that Nex’s experience was part of a routine negligence to prevent sex-based harassment in their school district.

Trans Day of Remembrance is an annual ceremony of mourning for the trans and gender non-conforming people whose lives were lost to anti-trans violence this year. In 2024, four of those lost were teenagers, like Nex. The youngest, Pauly Likens, was murdered at just 14. Memorializing our trans kindred we lost in the previous year started with the 1998 death of Rita Hester and, for 26 years, this day has served as a reminder of how vitally important it is that we remember those we’ve lost, and that we continue to fight for justice.

I started my advocacy doing reproductive justice organizing in Oklahoma, not far from where Nex grew up. At the core of reproductive justice is the fundamental belief that everyone has the right to decide if, when, and how they have children and the right to raise those children in a safe and healthy environment. In that work, I saw anti-abortion legislators in Oklahoma pursue countless policies that allowed the state to police our bodies, from abortion access to gender identity. It was that fundamental belief in autonomy — that my body is mine, and mine alone — helped me understand my own transness.

Trans individuals are policed because we bend expectations of gender when we inhabit public spaces like bathrooms, when we seek housing, relationships, and education. Social, political, and legal institutions continue to attempt to control our bodies and our lives. But it is this refusal of expectations, this insistence on the freedom to be ourselves, that makes us who we are. Right now, extremist politicians across the country are putting our lives at risk when they restrict access to abortion and gender-affirming care. Josseli Barnica died waiting for emergency abortion care. Trans youth and their parents have reported devastating interruptions in medically-necessary health care when politicians attempt to ban gender-affirming care. In one study, 70 percent of gender-affirming care providers reported receiving threats to their personal safety or their practice.

On this Trans Day of Remembrance, I can’t stop thinking about the important precedent the Supreme Court is about to set. On December 4, the Supreme Court will take up U.S. v Skrmetti, a case that would decide whether or not trans youth are protected by the Constitution. This case asks the court to decide whether Tennessee’s law banning gender-affirming hormone therapies for transgender minors violates the Equal Protection Clause. The ACLU is prepared to tell the court what we know is true: Trans people are protected by the Constitution, just like everyone else, and that includes our access to gender-affirming care.

My colleagues and I are working tirelessly for the right to live our lives with dignity and the right to choose what is best for our own bodies. But today, I am also grieving. In our grief, justice can feel like an abstract concept, but in our pain and anger is an understanding that, even when justice feels bloodless, injustice must still be stopped. The relentless political attacks on the LGBTQ community that seek to dehumanize us must be stopped. The lack of adequate medical care, shelter and mental health resources must be stopped.

Mariame Kaba reminds us that we should let our grief radicalize us rather than lead us to despair. It is not radical to want safety and justice for myself and my community — it is a fundamental right. Trans people deserve the freedom to be who we are.

Today, we mourn and honor those who we have lost. Tomorrow, we celebrate, support, and fight like hell for the trans and non-binary people who are still living.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

New video by T-Series on YouTube

Aila Re Aillaa (Video) Sooryavanshi | Akshay, Ajay, Ranveer, Katrina, Rohit | 5 November Presenting first song "Aila Re Aillaa " from the most awaited movie of the year "Sooryavanshi". The movie is staring Akshay Kumar, Ajay Devgn, Ranveer Singh and Katrina Kaif in the lead role. The biggest party anthem of the year, this track "Aila Re Aillaa" is sung by Daler Mehndi and the Music Recreated by Tanishk Bagchi and the new lyrics are penned by Shabbir Ahmed. The song originally is composed by Pritam and penned by Nitin Raikwar. Reliance Entertainment, Rohit Shetty Picturez In association with Dharma Productions and Cape Of Good Films presents “Sooryavanshi”. Produced by: Hiroo Yash Johar, Aruna Bhatia, Karan Johar, Apoorva Mehta and Rohit Shetty Directed by: Rohit Shetty Star Cast: Akshay Kumar, Ajay Devgn, Ranveer Singh and Katrina Kaif. SONG CREDITS Song - Aila Re Aillaa Singer - Daler Mehndi Music Reworked by - Tanishk Bagchi Programmed and Arranged by -...

Latest AI tools in 2025

Artificial Intelligence has reached a new height in the year 2025. With the help of powerful tools, AI has made it possible to transform business, revolutionalize the way we live, and the way we work. Chatbots are one of the many amazing things that AI has brought to us in 2025. They have made it possible for businesses to provide 24/7 customer service without the need for human interruption. But chatbots are just the tip of the iceberg of what AI has to offer in 2025. With natural language processing (NLP), AI has made it possible for machines to understand human language and emotions. This has paved the way for virtual assistants like Siri and Alexa to assist with everyday tasks and questions. Robotic Process Automation (RPA) is also one of the growing trends of AI in 2025. This tool facilitates the automation of repetitive tasks, which frees up time for more important work. This improves productivity and efficiency in businesses and organizations. As for the healthcare industry, ...

Documents Reveal Confusion and Lack of Training in Texas Execution

As Texas seeks to execute Carl Buntion today and Melissa Lucio next week, it is worth reflecting on the grave and irreversible failures that occurred when the state executed Quintin Jones on May 19, 2021. For the first time in its history — and in violation of a federal court’s directive and the Texas Administrative Code — Texas excluded the media from witnessing the state’s execution of Quintin Jones. In the months that followed, Texas executed two additional people without providing any assurance that the underlying dysfunction causing errors at Mr. Jones’ execution were addressed. This is particularly concerning given that Texas has executed far more people than any other state and has botched numerous executions. The First Amendment guarantees the public and the press have a right to observe executions. Media access to executions is a critical form of public oversight as the government exerts its power to end a human life. Consistent with Texas policy, two reporters travelled t...