'I Won’t Abandon My Country'

I live everyday in fear. My husband, Miguel, is undocumented and, despite what many believe, being married to a U.S. citizen does not protect him from Donald Trump’s unlawful efforts to deport millions of people.

Miguel is my best friend. He is wonderful, kind, and humble. We have a beautiful life that includes a successful business, a home, two children and five grandchildren. It is truly the American dream that so many people in this country strive to build for themselves. Today, it terrifies me to know that everything we’ve worked so hard could be taken from us by cruel immigration policies that argue Miguel isn’t “good enough” to even attempt to become a U.S. citizen.

Miguel has lived in this country for virtually his entire adult life. Even though Miguel has worked hard every day since he came to the states, because of how he entered the country, we’re struggling to find a path to citizenship for him. Miguel has paid taxes like any American despite never knowing if he might become a citizen and reap the benefits, like social security, of his hard work. I could live with that injustice. It was enough for us that he had authorization to work legally and was protected from immediate deportation.

Then Trump was re-elected.

In 2016, the first Trump administration reopened a lot of immigration cases like Miguel’s, trying to find a reason to deport people. We were fortunate to escape notice then, but I’m afraid we won’t be so fortunate now. The new Trump administration is far more cruel and far more determined to deport those it doesn’t view as “worthy” to be American citizens. I am terrified that Miguel will be next on Trump’s deportation list. I have cameras everywhere in my home. I’m scared to sleep, worried that ICE will knock on my door and take my husband. I’m at the point of having a breakdown over not knowing if he’s going to come home after work.

I have hired so many attorneys to find a path to permanent residency and citizenship for Miguel. Every attorney says that they can’t help us. I feel like every door has been closed to us. I can only hold out hope that a humanitarian visa, which acknowledges the hardships Miguel fled when he came to the states, might be available in spite of the Trump administration’s efforts to restrict almost every legal path to citizenship.

While we wait for updates about Miguel’s status, I am determined that I won’t go down without a fight. I am organizing in my community, I am lobbying my lawmakers and I am using my story to advocate for immigration reform. This country can’t keep relying on immigration policies that are more than 30 years out of date and vulnerable to the powerful and discriminatory anti-immigrant agenda that pervades politics today.

But in my fight there is also heartbreak. Miguel has become resigned, believing that there is no hope for him. The despair weighs heavily on our marriage. I don’t want to be separated from him. To stay together if he is deported, we started building a house in Mexico, a place Trump calls a “terrorist country” run by the cartel. It devastates me to think I might have to leave America, my children, my business, my community, and my hope behind just so that I can be with my partner, a man I’ve loved for more than two decades. Miguel is a husband, a father, a hard worker and, most importantly, a human being. He deserves the chance to keep supporting our country and for his chosen country to support him. We’ve worked so hard just to end up terrified that the Trump administration will snatch our American dream from us.